Well, yesterday was a fine day in the life of this particular artist. The American Visionary Art Museum in Baltimore, MD purchased some of my art. It's not that big a deal, yet, but it's a thrifty start. Sold a couple dozen packs of postcards for display in San Francisco and Baltimore. Not bad. It was fun scooting around with Peter Harper and Marina Reiter who'd come along in the Renegade insisted I spring for drinks (and more drinks) with my proceeds. Done!
We killed a few pitchers, too much seafood, and what ever else we could fish out of the daylight down at the Harbor before slamming onto the Thames to continue. Trying to catalogue the tides I snapped a roll or two with the D60 Nikon I had on me. Harper and Reiter sucked face the rest of the night, kissed the sweet sunshine goodbye, mugged the mashed potato vogue, made like a native Cat's Eye rogue, kept me reelin' to the drunkards' codeO! I coulda been a Baltimer Pogue!then crashed at Peter's that night. Outlaws, again. Favored by the creed of he who lives outside the law must be honest, I made it home without incident. Lunch at the beginning of that stint crowded into a table at Bertha's was a blast, as usual.
Shows promise of things to come, perhaps. I'll write up the full story in the near, but right now I've got to head out to buy some crab meat for the crab dressing casserole I sling together for events like this awesome pig roast some rocker friends and their roller derby girls are hosting this afternoon at Floyd & Jen's (Walters) Virginia hacienda.
But check out the museum. It's on the map. And now, in some small way, so am I.
Hey sweetiejust finished the Marti Party site. Check it out! Await your approval before I roll out the pink carpet to Hank and Marti and whomever else THEY decide to dragnet. Perhaps I can say, ok, here's the site, will be up for a week, get your pictures now before I change the password. The stage is set.
Sue quickly sweeps through the site. "These are the ones that said "file not found" 5, 13, 33, 57, 64. Then there was the annoying thing of the picture number disappearing after it had been clicked. Do the girls know their tits will be exposed? Don't want to get into a big mess over a few pictures. Although there are more of me exposed than anyone else. A week sounds fine."
"I'll check the FNF instances, but the disappearing numbers trick was intentional. Once clicked, the visited link changes to white, the same color as the background. The links are still there, still clickable, but the color change as usual, indicates a previously visited link. I just wanted to mess with people I guess by making each picture a one thing opportunity, except to those clever enough to figure out what was going on." I respond.
To the casual power user, the Internet is always changing, so much so, one is almost reluctant to link outside one's one site, as within a few months those links will no longer exist. And observers of the NSA have recently begun to admit that of all the terrabytes stored in that huge array of computers, the sheer volume of information sabotages the intent, and besides, privacy activists are now trying to pull the electricity on that place, as I write this postscript in December, 2013.
"What girls? Did I miss a cat's eye or two? Twice by Marti, once solo and once with you, a couple of you and Anne Marie, a handful more of you alone, but to my knowledge no others gave a phreak show. And I figure that those rare moments of candor in their peachy keens are the ones they, and probably the Hankster as well most want to see, though I'd hazard a guess they might deny this under certain unsportsmanlike circumstances, hmmm, so I'm going to leave the level of discretion up to them.
"Those five "file not found" numbers you mention resulted because the automatic camera sequence numerals (filenames) don't exist because of a bad exposure, a goofy floor shot or some other unsalvageable snafu that caused me to dump them straight into the trash upon first viewing them, and in my haste to get this page done, I sped through the layout process without trying to figure out which ones were missing. Thanks for the ID because I might just go back in there now that I know which ones could use a picture, and swap out with some others I have slumming around the hard drive we've taken, no 'Mardi Gras' shots mind you, just a few pics to fill in the gaps. I feel this is tame royalty. Can't seem to make it down to New Orleans for their annual bash, or Key West for their winsome street festival, then we just make our own little 'Marti' Gras here among the Fells Point aristocracy...
"Okay Fells Pointers, those are the ground rules. Getcha glossy goo while you can, nothing lasts forever, especially on the Internet!"
Editor's Note: My last statement while appearing false at first glance, with all this news of NSA harvesting, is still very true. To the casual power user, the Internet is always changing, so much so, one is almost reluctant to link outside one's one site, as within a few months those links will no longer exist. And observers of the NSA have recently begun to admit that of all the terrabytes stored in that huge array of computers, the sheer volume of information sabotages the intent, and besides, privacy activists are now trying to pull the electricity on that place, as I write this postscript in December, 2013.
One week later. Marti pops in "Ha! Fabulous reply! Thanks ever so much! And I have every intention of crawling up with Hank as soon as he'll let me....(ahem..Hank?) Thanks again, Gabe, for putting that together. Interesting stuff. Here's what I have surmised after reviewing:
1. $600 was WAY too much for that party.
2. I should have partied with you guys...seems like you had more fun.
3. Ann Marie is a FOX!!!!!!
4. What I lack in mammories, I make up for in areola.
5. What I lack in teeth, I make up for in areola.
6. All that and I still didn't get laid.
7. Site should be called: "HANK'S ADVENTURES AT MARTI'S PARTY"
8. Damn, Ann Marie is a FOX!
9. Hank has a gorgeous smile.
10. Sue's boob is bigger than mine...but my areola is bigger than hers!
11. Was anyone else at the party besides Hank, Gabe, Sue, Susanne, Ann Marie, me and Aaron?
Anyway, thanks again. Fun to go through the photos! I'm in the process of saving them to disk.
"Thanks. Glad to have been there. Well, the irony with pictures is that while most people enjoy a snazzy snapshot of a stranger in various stages of human activity, not every stranger likes to have their face, gathering organs and organettes, goo hair goo, spiked or spackled eyelids, claw city fingernails, plastic pearly haloes,dirty love tracks and other dangerous liasons photographed by strangers, particular by a big ugly goon like myself, simon says please stand still while I snap snap snap away your soul while bagging the gist of your surfside secrets, snap snap snap into nowhere fast, invasion of privacy yadda yadda, so unless sanctioned I tend to stick to people I know, particularly in a public bar. Bar attitude can turn to scar certainty really quick where rogue cameras are concerned, particularly here in the DC scene, which of course sucks for somebody like me who likes to photograph interesting people in general
in staged affairs and gonzoso I will respond in kind:
1. Yeah. We spent some $600 on a party back in the late Eighties, and felt like something had gone terribly wrong the morning after.
2. I thought you WERE with us, for the most part, weren't you?
3. Ann Marie IS a FOX!!!!!!!
4. On a tight tiny frame like your, your tits are titanic, and yes, large dark areolas are worth every precious inch of canvas they spot.
5. What I lack in teeth, I make up in girth and intelligence. My areolas aren't much, but the trumpeting elephant bursting out of my chest in tattoo and tonsil is witness and standard bearer to that same girth and intelligence.
6. Imagine that. I was under the impression that you were crawling up with Hank that night. He of course issued that impression, but then, after getting his car towed away earlier that day, Hank wasn't much of a happy camper given the fact that Hank is pretty much always a happy camper.
7. Enough said.
8. Damn, Ann Marie is a CHINCHILLA!
9. I've noticed that it sort of creeps up on him, starting in one side of his mouth to spread from sea to shining sea.
10. I'm not quite sure this is correct, but comparisons always depend on the angle and lighting of the measurement. And there is always the plaster mold test.
11. Uh, I dunno. Who ate all your food? Somebody did. I took a few bites, but we had JUST eaten before arriving there at the Eye that day. Who were those elderly ladies goosing against the wall? Wasn't some dog there with a chick named Mary? Was that really her name? Oh, what a blur. And of course there was Bruce the Bashful. Oh what a blur."
From: Susanne Viscarra
Date: Thursday, June 03, 1999
Sorry I didn't get back. You just sounded pretty upset about the plans being wrecked, such that you needed to cool down not converse. Since your plans changed with us, we've now booked ourselves to take my brother and his kids out Saturday morning until dinner. Of course, you guys are still welcome to come up tomorrow night for an evening cruise. Just let us know. We went to Parrot Island (which is now called Bohager's) last night for their Austin Powers party.
Pussy Willow's on the coast, and the blind monkey's farting around with the TV antennae again. No word from you Chesapeake bums since I reported that Simple & Jen's party has moved up to Cockeysville. I feel arid dung dust up my nostrils and especially crummy that my plans were jacked, but par for the course and all that, leaves me with the only thing I can do is to regroup. So a Cockeyville roadtrip Saturday afternoon is pacing us since our agenda is to fringe this Internet business we're building, or at least considering it once I feel I can pull it off, which I probably can't. I'm actually a prude when I'm not trying to upend the principles to which I naturally gravitate in my challenge to understand the human condition. Not a classic prude, as nudity's no problem, but I will not ever feel comfortable in trying to talk someone into doing something they are not absolutely eager to do. Susanne has certainly never given any indication that she's interested in any of this or anything about us as long as we've known her short of queening a social crew to flit about in her honor for that matter, so this break in the plans sort of leaves us to our own wits. Bitch bitch, kick and moan. I was soooo booked, absolutely flattered by how fitting this entire penny opera at Fell's Point this weekend was falling into place. But noooooo...
Meanwhile, it goes without saying. You two are welcome—of course, darlings—to come up, be our guests Friday night until day next, but I know you really don't want to leave your breezy bay perch, so it's fine with us if you beg off, given we won't be on the sail Saturday. Just let us know whacha decide, Cap'n....
From: Hank Schomburg
Date: Thu, 10 Jun 1999 08:32:14 -0400
I thought you might be able to use the new spam yourself as a part of your enterprise. I suspected it was not new to you, though.
Sparky & I have been talking about the trek to the nationskapitol ad nauseum. I have to fly to Rhode Island (is there anything there but portagee and designing?) this weekend. Following weekends seem replete with family gatherings. As some point a red pencil must emerge and put an end to the "we should" loop. June is the month of evil for me since it is the end of the fiscal year and all insurance policies must be renewed. Kind of like April for an accountant.
We will work it out.
Wonderful Hank, but they won't send me any garments in MY sizes. And I'm just getting bigger. That in itself disappoints me on several levels, lemme say. I could however just send their slippery SPAM to every victim on my mailing list, order the largest sizes they stock, then give the garments to the next likely juggernaut I meet. Apparrel bandits stealing my cereal. Dmmm. I freak way too easily for this kind of questionable work. I ask myself, is this a public relations task I should embrace in my role of site owner? As you have been known to observe, "Just because you're misunderstood doesn't mean you're a genius..."
Sparky, how's it been? Well, we take the Pontiac to Cockeysville. I snapped five rolls of film some grocery store goober is probably handling right now or has just recently handled in a precarious process of handoffs from my hands BACK to my hands, for pickup in the morning. Cha cha chisle for Man Razor on the swing out screen pass.
Four naked girls with various extremes of bodacious allure wiggled and squiggled, charming all but Sue's old school vanity right out of the room of regulars and newcomers that night. Simple, Jen, and Dave's Emporium of Performing Nudity (The Booby Guarantee) was kept carefully wrapped in Maryland yokel for its own sake.
Jen's slightly better looking younger sister was there also. Within an hour or so another two or three more "professional" looking early Internet girls made their entrance. Remember, this was an amateur gig, no was money exchanged, none ever required for these monthly fanzingers Jen and Dave hosted to show their approachability and to honor their paying fans, people who paid a small fee to join their online fan club. They certainly had earned themselves a true measure of fame power because it was on record that Jen & Dave were among the very first to take their exhibitionism to the Internet, and soon enough made contact with the first and second waves of girls who undressed for money on the web that had swept the nation the past couple of years before the big money porn industry finally arrived to prove that money, big money could be made on the Internet, thus pushing the technology and attracting the interest of the so-called more legitimate business world with all its supporting players like government large and small, the arts, news, views, and service industries, et cetera.
All the young women this night were in their early twenties, wearing mostly routine wet smiles, camel toes, and unimpressive bras of various colors and texture, but none could be called irreducibly seductive or exotic. Boobie guarantee, yes, seductive or particularly exotic, no. Flanking the plain, even dingy walls in this one bedroom Cockeysville apartment where Jen & Dave lived without benefit of marriage, although there was periodic talk that the ritual knot was on its way, maybe a dozen flirty men became boys in stride and slope, including this reporter as the small talk transitioned to the quick snap phase of shooting the models, who in turn kept themselves in constant movement once the girls had shed what little they had left clinging to their conspicuous nipples, young, smooth, tight and soft, some freckled, some clean, but all of them as pale as the walls, untouched by the sun, except Simple, who in light of the others was a sun bunny II thought it might be fun watching naked girls behave as if wood nymphs from the lore of old, Sue—in her sophisticated Cleopatra wig—ripped an early fig-snot mad drunk, while I just legged it out, snapping experimental keepers of steamy rather unartistic nudes draping about men and selves. Minor disappointment in Sue Baby bombing, but one of us usually is.
Fortunately, she brought her usual nice demeanor earlier on when things were less naughty and more sober. People liked her, but soon enough she kept picking fights in battling her feelings of inferiority against naked youth—trotting out her usual posture of superiority based on the amount of money she makes when she feels threatened by others, especially women, and proud of the well-appointed home she has. Well, we didn't always, and nobody was holding her age or looks against her. Because she was beautiful, fascinating, desired, compelling—until she turned ugly. The guys were certainly talking to her, and while I understood and actually anticipated her mind warp, I didn't feel comfortable leaving the scene immediately, not until a pardonable hour. I picked up her cues, of course, realizing tonight I'd have to generate all the charm and cheddar to muffle any outrageous horses I might have been compelled to unleash. Just know she had gone on record that she wasn't playing any naked games tonight; she was drinking into a mad stupor, and that was that. So my behavior was constrained to normal levels as I had to keep stepping in to bail her out of her own boozed up defiant rudeness, by rolling out my own personable and smart self to the lads who tried to chat her up, as well as those occasional loud remarks directed at no one directly but were no doubt aimed at our host and hostess, Jen & Dave. In other words I had to blend in, try to excuse and explain her slack, and come off as a broken marriage commoner myself. So I took one for the team. A switch of the norm you usually see surface when we're in Baltimore, eh Hank? This is why we're hardly the overachieving power couple of our dreams. One of us is always in the tank. So together we may cut one good figure. We maintain a certain balance, but we don't overachieve. We get by...
Bottom line—this night of fully dressed comic book men and topless hick girls was boring, squandering IQ, hopefulness, bravado, charisma, raising nothing, taking nothing away but the stark realization of being too indifferent to be there. We could ride away from this boobie guarantee to the motel room we'd booked there in Timonium for the night without regrets or any deeper symptoms that we were on our way out of a marriage we thought otherwise worked so well...
Sue and I swap the sober, responsible role by rote often enough that it's one of the most important maneuvers that's kept us together all these fifteen years of poking holes in liberal presumptions, forcing limits, noting discrepancies, self-realizing what felt comfortable to us and what didn't. This marvel, which seems to occur instinctively when one of us falls victim to the mash, while the other remains strong and capable was again in gear. So I floated around the apartment like a long haired jungle king that night, soaking up feminine empathy and its affect on the less attractive male yearling, masking my own zeal for the body nude with a slow deliberate maturity born of mine and my wife's conventional prudishness, if any of this could be called mature.
So here we were, shooting fish in a barrel of witz o' mania, 12 or so forgettable clowns glazed in denial, teasing the limits of common need in some slightly rundown standard issue apartment complex gracing the foothills of urbania just north of the Luthersville-Timonium strip. In the sizzle of the night heat I would become a sweaty mess without even clearing the deck with visceral agitation like I often do in public confrontations with phony, flat, non-personal situations. But this was a private home, and I tend to keep my manners in someone's home. Well, there was that Iggy Pop chair crashing scene at your house, Hank, but I was sitting (or buttdancing) in the chair, and it was purely accidental that it collapsed and I fell to the floor. And that's right, Susanne, after watching me plead in embarrassment for five to ten minutes confessed that the chair had already pulled apart once before, so I was able to finally plead innocence on that one.
There was something missing even in the hands off lap dances that the girls began to give toward the end of the night. No electricity. No psychological integration. Perhaps this was because none of the girls—as nice-looking, shapely and cheerful as they were—fit my pulchritudinous type. These were kids. Lower middle class kids mostly from Cockeysville, Maryland. What can I say? Bottom line—this night of fully dressed comic book men and topless hick girls was boring, squandering IQ, hopefulness, bravado, charisma, raising nothing, taking nothing away but the stark realization of being too indifferent to be there. We could ride away from this boobie guarantee to the motel room we'd booked there in Timonium for the night without regrets or any deeper symptoms that we were on our way out of a marriage we thought otherwise worked so well...
We have another earth scorcher here today. Gotta go sailing soon. Both of us are eager to have you grab some DC gusto from the Dollhouse any weekend soon. Maybe some Friday night, you guys can breeze up on rail or by car. I still appreciate the natural splendor of that plan, don't you? If some Friday night you two want to plot your way here, then plan the night from there starting with the basic tour of course, which will take five minutes, take in something around Washington, and then we can all leave for Baltimore midmorning next for a daycruise with Capt'n Hank and his, hopefully finishing up on an early evening sober moment maybe pick up some Chesapeake blues at a Fell's bar with our friends Karen and her new man, just like it was supposed to happen LAST weekend.
Things to do in DC. Introduce you to our 'XusNET servers—geek to geek. Gaggle around those Inner Harbor Mardis Gras pix we took with y'all back in February. Show you the stash of pics from last week's Cockeyville light of fancy. Swap a few Susanne-styled snappers. And bend tales of our two cities into spicy tongues and funny clothes few in our mosaic can fail to appreciate...
Yeah, just say it, I'll do anything once just to test the water, get it over with, and move along to the next challenge that must be met, not by bothering to count the successes or stumbling over the failures, but by filing the experience, noting those feelings, and realizing for the record who I am, and what I am capable of being...
DC is a conservative city, regardless of who's in power at the national or district level, and no matter how liberal the local government pretends to be with its passage of laws to the left of Maryland's tax and spend smiling faces.
10:30 AM 4/29/99, Sue Hedrick wrote:
Think this is real?
About as real as Jesus on the mule. Tim called this morning to thank us for yesterday's invitation, but he was out and didn't get back until late. Said he will no doubt see us this weekend as he's on tap to help Peter out the door. Saturday, he said. Looking forward to renovating the room for Mother. If the new furniture, both tiers of it, will be ready for pickup by Saturday, which is May 1, then I will go ahead and rent something. The phoneline at the Bladensburg U-Haul outlet has been busy for the past fifteen minutes, but we can get a small truck for $19.95 for half a day or something like that, certainly worth it.
Toad went dead, but it's back up again. Maria finally got here at 9:50, suffering sinus & weakness after a day on the Chesapeake yesterday. Trying to keep up with the BS Hedricks I suppose. Charming. Well, no xDSL today. Toad turned to Covad who is now turning to Bell. There's a short in some connection somewhere. We seem good here. Software is configured and Toad is on top of things. Hopefully sometime tomorrow we'll have 1.1 mps service but I ain't counting chickens. Just got this from Glenn Dagliesh:
My plan is if you want to keep that ISDN as backup I can talk with you about the different possiblities. If not once the Covad circuit is live we will just move the .190 address to the flowpoints, ethernet and all should work seamlessly.
There is an open ticket for the Bell-Covad issue and I expect to hear from them shortly.
Date: Wednesday, May 05, 1999 11:24 AM
Chris Titus is loafing as usual, but he's here in bits & pieces. He found a nest of rats, killed one baby underneath those gangly bushes. We're taking them down to chest level, after he whacked the rose bush before I pointed out my wish to keep it up. He says it may take 3 years or more for the bushes to come back. Hope we have the patience to wait that long, but meanwhile, we've got a front yard! A real front yard. Full of dirt right now but ready for something fancy. I'm glad we've opened it up although we will probably miss the bushy greens in the short term.
Please seek out Erika Fischer sometime before she leaves today in case I am out when she calls and she doesn't think to email me the results of her budget-finding tryst with Dave Stirpe this afternoon.
Still nothing from GSI. Love my baby though.
Date: Friday, May 07, 1999 11:24 AM
Hey Glenn. Back online? Seems to be. Thanks. Talked to the office. Know we are still waiting on the Bell-Covad meeting called in my honor.
Whoa. Apple.com just zoomed into my browser. Toad's in, slower, but in. I talked to Dan yesterday. Told him I was concerned about the last IP address in my present string of 16 since the ISDN router is, and always has been at .190 and I am not completely clear how that effects my BIG PICTURE. You later said that you had to use the .190 in some upline, meaning towards Toad, slot in the config scheme on the xDSL line. So my question is: once the current xDSL snafu is cleared and the line supposedly goes "live" and is checked as "live" what does that do to my ISDN line? Snuff it? Cause problems with the xDSL on my end since I have each box on my LAN configured to route out through the .190 IP address? When my .190 is lost to your upstream xDSL config, but the actual FlowPOINT box sits at .184 isn't that the address I need to config in my LAN setups before I can surf & serve the new line? If it is, that of course is no problem, but I just need to know when is the best time to execute the change.
Got the official Toad Notice. That was cool, wet, and comforting, a nichewerk! Keep it up guys. I'm trying to hang. I really am, but it's been a long frustrating nine months trying to run my servers fulltime.
Since I am now up again, I presume, short of another snip or two in the TELCO world, that yadda yadda software glitch that caused the rather extended outage at the Toadpoint in early part of this week, I am back to normal, actually better than normal with the ISDN, well, uh, BECAUSE YOU SAY IT IS SO.
Service out since before midnight last night (my mailer logs scheduled for midnight came in this morning once back online) until eleven fifteen this morning. Seems that YET ANOTHER UPGRADE has caused problems at The Toad. In fact, the new software failed to work altogether and they had to reinstall the old. I love these folks in Severna Park but they need to get a grip on currency regs and leave well enough alone sometimes. That's just basic, right up there with announcing these blistering edge upgrades in an email to all customers, and even more importantly, having a staff to answer the phone when this sort of outage is expected or underway. This "upgrading" every two weeks or so is radically obtuse, and quite disruptive to the client depending on and paying for 24 hour service. Why are they too flipping cutting edge aggressive to notice this? I know this is the wild west era of the Internet technology frontier, and we are the pioneers, but haven't they heard of the sandbox? Our professional clients don't expect this, and neither do we. Growing pains equals death of small startup, and that would be us, not Toad.
Susanne's a pretentious whiny whirly girly mess. Except when she's a curvy but slight, thin-shouldered sexy kitty crawler with plush red lips bouyant enough to float across the Atlantic, a whimpering adorable quick-eyed fashionista, edible, noisy, and nasty, but I tell you whatJack Jack Jack, nimble nimble Jack, always finds a way to look really stupid and callous in the way he treats his relationships. But then again, this is me talking, and after 40 years of loving everybody with a howdy doo I now seem to find everybody a miserable waste of life force, especially those who rush in wearing the rank of friendship. Kerouac debatably wrote the first great modern friendship story. I must be writing the story of what a gross clusterfuck friendship can really turn out to be...
Sorry Jack didn't work out. He simply doesn't care beyond the next energy burst. He's always just an upbeat away from another potential friend, that easy touch. Having nothing and doing nothing seems to present him with that advantage. I think Jesus said something to that effect. But Jack rides the great dragon of lies. He tells an outrageous lie when a simple truth would get him closer to his mark than the fiction ever could, but, hey, that's Jack's security blanket it seems. Lie until it hurts, and then make up new ones. I've known him a decade now, and oh well...
Been working with Photoshop Actions batching routines today. WOW! What a wonderful feature. I can convert whole folders of say, a hundred TIFF grayscale graphics into JPGs, add a tint, resize, blur to smooth out edges, and save at a certain resolution, ALL BY FIRST HAVING PHOTOSHOP RECORD MY ACTIONS DURING ONE, and then executing for all the others. To watch one's computer open up files, add tints, resize, save into specified folder, close, and then open the next one is simply what power computing is all about!!! Then I simply grab that folder, and drop it onto a namechanging shareware program I recently picked up and it will standardize all the filenamesoperations that I used to spend hours, days, even weeks hardclicking now accomplished in minutes. Sweet Macintosh!
"Ignorance and virtue suck on the same straw. Souls grow on bones, but die beneath bankers' hours.""