Category Archives: Technology

Help Desk Commando

samplex

Help, I can't login! What am I doing wrong?

mouse

Okay, we believe you. Meanwhile, we have been swamped holding hands, dodging insults, and writing long personal notes to members of every walk who are struggling to register or to log-in, or to get to the homepage after logging in, or haven't gotten a password, or they've got three, or they get an error message, or can't get into the Members Area, or have forgotten their passwords or they use the wrong passwords in the wrong forms, or they are senior members who like pens and paper, or they are concerned about privacy, or who can't distinguish between language describing an online account and that of a chapter membership...

You know who you are. That's no reflection on you. It could be a computer problem, a browser incompatibility problem, or a knowledge problem. Life is not all plug and play, even if the manual tells you it is. Just to show you we care About your well-being, we'll share a few pointers with you.

So let's see if we can't construct a page that speaks to that small portion of you (about one in fifteen) who are having the problems. This is not your usual website, because the SAMPLEX is not your usual hangout. We strive to be an organization of caring, exemplary folks who desire to do our best by others, by our community, by our nation, and by the awesome power of nature itself.

Part 1. So, let's get down to business, shall we?

  • Click REGISTER from main menu bar on the homepage.
  • Fill out form, including the username of your choice, your real names, and your email address, the address where you will receive a system-generated password or choose your own password. Solve the Recaptcha, if applicable. Click register button at the bottom. If successful...wait for email to arrive. Could take a few minutes, Could take up to 48 hours, depending on when you register. Have patience, please!
  • If you receive an email with a system-generated password announcing you have been approved, you can then use the MEMBERS LOGIN tab whenever you visit the site.
  • Click MEMBERS LOGIN tab found on the main menu bar on homepage.
  • You will be taken to your personal Profile page. Scroll down halfway or so. Change your password to something you can remember, type it twice, make it at least medium complexity, and remember to click the blue UPDATE USER button at the bottom when you are finished. We understand that for a few of you, this part of the form is missing for some still unresolved reason. If this is the case for you, please use the PASSWORD RECOVERY tab on the main menu bar. You will be sent an email with a link to take you to a form to choose your own password.
  • But back at the Personal Profile page. Look up at the black bar at the top of that page. Pull down the SAMPLEX tab to click VISIT SITE tab.
  • This should take you back to the homepage. At that point you are free to visit the Members Area.
  • You SHOULD ALWAYS be logged in to your account to actually access the Members Area, AND you must use the pair of second tier credentials issued you in orientation or at a members meeting to view the links.

Part 2. I followed those directions, but I still can't log in!

Yes, we hear you loud and clear. You are one of the three percent of the original ten percenters who are still having login problems, even after we walked you through the entire process. But have no fear. We empathize. There are always more reasons why something doesn't work for most of us, and it's not always our fault or your fault. It COULD be somebody else's fault! Imagine that!

  • The problem could be a server hiccup, or a network slowdown. Take a deep breath. Try again.
  • Or you might just need to start by trashing your cookies, flushing your cache, and restarting your machine. If you leave your machine powered on for weeks at a time, turn it off, and unplug, yes, unplug it for ten minutes to allow any static build-up to dissipate. Plug it back in. Turn on your computer. Try your browser. Still no cigar? Try another browser.
  • Perhaps the browser you normally use is just not well-suited for our system. It happens. MSIE 7 is a frequent culprit on modern systems, particularly our WordPress engine. But others can choke occasionally as well. Try another browser. Try Chrome, or Firefox, or Safari on the Mac. Each has been known to help others login where another browser did not, depending on which platform and version of OS you have configured.

info_alertIf you have completed all these steps, and you still cannot log-in successfully, write us again, and we'll discuss what, if anything, we can do to help. But you MUST describe your problem and the actions you have taken precisely, or there is little we can do to help you because we will be as confused as you are in pinpointing exactly where you are in the process.

Thanks, and good luck! We want everybody to be able to sign on, but we recognize that even the friendliest technology can hamper any of us with limitations every once in a while. Don't sweat it!

Part 3: Accessing The Member's Area

To access the Members Area, log into the site as usual, then hit the SAMPLEX link at the menu bar from the Personal Profile page to get back to the homepage where you will click the Members Area link on the main menu bar. A members page will be returned, but you must have the universal 2nd-tier credentials (a separate username and password that are different from your site login credentials) to access them. This 2nd-tier credential should be given to you at your orientation, or at members meetings on the 2nd Monday of each month. Please do not ask the Network Administrator to give you these credentials, as that defeats a certain level of security we must depend upon, since we in this department have no way of verifying your membership.

There is another way to access the Members Area without logging into the site, but we prefer members not exploit that path. All users should be logged in before accessing the Members Area.

That's it! Happy SAMPLEX vapor trails!

Addendum: FAQ

Question: Why must I sweat through two logins just to get to the Members Area?

info_alertAnswer: We have this two-tier login system because we have an Open Registration at this time. This means anybody can register as a user of our website, but since we do not wish to share our private chapter information with non-members we currently have a second tier login to protect the Members Area documents. If you do not know your Members Area login credentials, please contact the Membership Director, Peta McMillen. She can confirm to the network administrator that you are a member in good standing, or issue you the Members Area username and password herself.


Question: I can't get into the Members Area. When I click on Members Area, I am taken to a page that asks me for just a password, no username.

info_alertAnswer: Yes, this might happen, depending on how you arrive at the Members Area pages. Just type one or the other of the two second-tier credentials you have been given for accessing the two pages of the Members Area. Only one of them will work, but we will occasionally switch the password on that particular form, so try one, then the other, and you should get in without problem. However, you will still need to type in your Members Area username and password one more time to access the document links.


Question: We have a family membership. I am presently awaiting the up to 48 hours to have my registration processed. Must my wife also register and log in or else have hers or the family membership terminated?

info_alertAnswer: This online registration at present has little to do with your membership in the SAMPLEX other than confirming the identity of our online users for security reasons. Online membership registration exists solely for the purposes of the website, and is free of charge. Chapter membership for the purposes of conservationist principles and all the fun that follows incurs annual membership fees to support our facilities, including this website. There are no terminations of Chapter memberships for failure to sign-up to the website at this time! Just please list your the membership on your profile page once you register. Good luck!


Question: I am having trouble with the Slide Out Contact Form. It won't send my mail. What am I doing wrong?

info_alertAnswer: There is a bug in the code that we have no been able to squash. However, we have found that if you quit your browser completely, then reboot it, the form will work again. We apologize for this inconvenience, and will continue due diligence to help make the LCCIWLA web site better as we continue to grow.

Gabriel Thy
IT Development Team
blue-mail

The Premise

Project Scenewash has been heard to decree
the awful battleground where art and politics plea,
beat and battered each other up, none to agree,
and few are they who seemed the wiser...

Painting the fabric civilization vain
must wear to spare itself the critical pain
crude slavery unjust must follow
profane, the closed closet eye
torn against brash sky too soon
no rain, this wrecking ball
heart next to nix over noon
a vanishing dead stain,
the wretched call sign
of the blood red moon...

and that, of course,
is a course made plain,
fussy labors in vain no single man
can reign, by every account his plan
suffers the curse, his hopes lost too,
to the shallow gray range,
the eagle, the lion,
the bitter cold change.

Beating A Dead Horse

gabriel
Old Man Autumn
samplex

Well, Singer, deterrence is not a big headline grabber, but it does change the dynamics of who does what to whom and when. And besides, yes, indeed there are quite a few instances on record of someone "successfully" defending themselves and others against intruders, but of course the liberal media avoids these stories, and sometimes even the surprised homeowner is hauled into court to defend himself against charges, while the intruder skirts off. It's an outrage, Josh. Criminals use and abuse guns all the time, and yet the system coddles them. Meanwhile law abiders are demonized.

But man, ALL the arguments on this issue are old news, if you've truly been honest in researching it. You know them. I know them. We've each made choices. You have your sense of moral high ground. And I have something just as awesome. End of story.

Money For The Poets

kerouac-cassidy
Jack Kerouac and Neal Cassidy
samplex

DECADES OF PUBLIC and private funding have created a large frumpy professional class for the production and reception of new poetry comprising legions of teachers, graduate students, editors, publishers, and administrators. Poets? Based mostly in universities, these groups have gradually become the primary audience for contemporary verse. Consequently, the energy of American poetry, which was once directed outward, is now increasingly focused inward, but I guess it's been this way for a long time. Me? Think I'll pull, push, exhort, pry, torque, haul ass my own weight outside the grinding gears of establishment bureauocracy poesy. Hence this website and its demands on atomic clearance, where animated bias is the pungent cream of festivities. Click. Click. 404 error. File not found on this server. Click. Click. Damn, this is what I hate about linking to outside tiddly winkers. Link expirations. Here today, gone tomorrow. I had linked to a page touting a national poetry month special called Show Me The Money. It was a good read, but now the link is dead, and I should remove it to keep my SEO score respectable. This is the primary reason I link to Wikipedia pages. They may not be the most thorough or even the most factual presentations of a given subject, but one can link to them and count on their continued existence. At least until their self-funding dries up. Money, money, money...

Read it all.

Albums That Impacted My Life

flowers-lp
My First Big Rock Record
samplex

After a "days on end" bombardment of these viral things, I have succumbed to pressures, peer or otherwise, to post my own. Whatever. And don't forget to catch a few tracks over at Radio Scenewash. Enjoy.

As a younger adolescent, "Simon and Garfunkel's Greatest Hints" stands the test of time in making that first early impact. Of course, I also heard a good chunk of Johnny Cash and the Carter Family, thanks to my old man's influence, which has always stuck with me. Remember, I grew up in a very small town in the Old South, and this was when AM ruled. FM was still mostly a twinkle in the eye. We caught our radio in snatches where we could. Down on the Georgia coast, snagging the bouncing waves of WLS in Chicago and WOWO in Fort Wayne, IN was hit and miss depending on the weather and cloud cover, but it was massive, even illicit fun to curl up under the covers at night, and steal those rogue high-powered AM waves when we could. Listening to rock and roll in those innocent youthful years in the late 60s took work, and patience. Then came high school and own my first vinyl purchase...

1. Flowers - Rolling Stones (paradigm No. 1, poet laureates with guitars)
2. Harvest - Neil Young
3. Blonde on Blonde - Bob Dylan
4. Greetings from Asbury Park - Bruce Springsteen
5. The Hoople - Mott the Hoople
6. Close Enough For Rock and Roll - Nazareth
7. This Year's Model - Elvis Costello
8. Telekon - Gary Numan
9. Power, Corruption, Lies - New Order
10. We've Got The Beat - the Go Gos
11. Never Mind the Bollocks - Sex Pistols (paradigm No.2, punk political underground)
12. Easter - Patti Smith
13. Ten Witches - 9353 (single, but brutal)
14. Senseless Offerings - Black Market Baby
15. The Age of Quarrel - Cro-Mags
16. Troops of Tomorrow - The Exploited
17. Psalm 69 - Ministry
18. Rammstein - Mutter (paradigm No.3, industrial religious goth & electronica)
19. The War on Errorism - NoFX
20. Assassinate - Birmingham 6
21. Harmonizer - Apoptygma Berzerk
22. Jesus Christ Superstars - Laibach
23. Embryodead - Wumpscut
24. Cyberia - Cubanate
25. Linger Fickin' Good - Revolting Cocks
26. Southern Born Killers - Stuck Mojo
27. Judgement - VNV Nation
28. Burden - King Giant

Okay, these are the "gamechanger" LPs threaded into three distinctive but overlapping paradigms, each listed in the chronological order more or less (I didn't use references to map this list) in which I was introduced to them, or in one case, a single track that egregiously throttled my perspective in terms of those emotional and intellectual cadences which continued to draw me to the music as I pursued the soundtrack of my life.

A probing sort hiding among my friends might even scratch closely enough at this list to expose one or two similar strains of energy these selections reflect over forty or so years of rocking out to the Almighty Sounds of My Deliverance, but then again, we live in such superficial times where nothing matters very long.

This list is not a comprehensive list of my favorite albums of all-time, or within any given season, but they are the life impacted albums, the ones that have inevitably left its mark in such a way within its particular context, that I need no bread crumbs to find my way back to them.

And we must remember that there are always many global and esoteric variables at play in considering these impact moments in one's rather random listening life, but this is not the space to map that baseline. Suffice it to say, however, these 28 LPs will always remain special, each for their own reasons, to me. Perhaps there are more yet to come.

Gabriel

Riot Act, Part Three

stop-bombs
Where's the justice?
samplex

Avie darling—would you please quit, and I mean RIGHT NOW, please quit bombarding me with all this third party FB gadgetry. I hate to be a snot-nosed scrooge, but all that junk does absolutely nothing for my dystopian frame of mind. I ALWAYS respond to email, that is to say, words crafted especially for me by someone I know who is sharing a part of themselves with me to communicate, jest, laugh, fear, commiserate, mourn, sneer, enjoy, you name it, I'll claim it, treasure it, commemorate it.

But while I do occasionally break down and respond, and even initiate one of those damnable FB gadgets (out of a nagging but false sense of guilt that I am the one being difficult), I really prefer the literary vices to ANY and ALL of that other virtual pomposity.

Yep, I'm a prick-hard bibliophiliac. And prefer my own kind.

This is your FINAL warning, dearie. I'm drowning in the shallow end of this pond, and will fight back with the most earnest of tools. Now SMILE when I say that. I just did.

Best wishes otherwise you silly goose,

GT

P.S. Also known as the sincerest of fools...

Even Spud Was A Contributing Member

gabriel_thy
Gabriel Thy
samplex

So Gabriel—intrigued by Sam and Reuben's reminiscing (see gray box below)—searches his own well-organized email accounts to report the following informal chronology...

Ah yes, the founding members urged to remember. Twas a hot summer evening curtly described as 7:53 PM EDT on June 20 1996 (imagine the marbled loveliness had I subscribed a mere four days earlier), that I signed onto this now fabled list, then called simply THE SPECTACLE (truth in advertising I suppose). But I then promptly forgot about the possibilities of becoming the mountain because it wasn't until August 9, according to my then impeccable records, that somebody who thought he was having trouble signing on began and ended complaining about computer problems, and the great divide between Windows and Macs. I responded: LOVE THE ONE YOU ARE WITH...or else be forever shaded as Irish author James Joyce begins his relationship with Nora Barnacle. The date also figures into the plot for his novel Ulysses; this date is now celebrated as "Bloomsday" by Joyceans everywhere.

From: "Sam Hutcheson" Date: Fri, 10 May 2002 20:38:38 -0400

gabe's been around as long as i have, for the record. if not longer. back in the day, spud was a contributing member, even.

as i recall i'm entering my 6th or 7th year "around".

s/

> Holy shit. It just crossed my mind that I've been subscribing to > this list
> for, like, five years or something. How sad is that? >
> Hutcheson's been here longer though..... >
> Reuben

Another month of quiet on the nothingness backburner droned on until on September 9, when, as life would have it, another fine pilgrim popped into place noting surprise that he'd received anything from the list he'd thought clinically dead. That person was none other than Laurent Oget, responding to a seed named Heidi who claimed to be having trouble loving the one she was with in complaining about certain uncertainties of the sign-up process on a unsettling list where the writing and the riddles had yet begun to strike their mighty blows for freedom among us. But lo and behold, suddenly, in a gust of curious whispering, wistful activity was now thrust upon us! Five or six notes in about five or six days from a pool of about five or six people (excruciating details hardly matter), were swapped, followed by another lengthy spell of silent days and lonely nights. During the last few truckloads of late September another three or so notes got passed around. But I soon needed a swizzle stick to mix my fantasy sunrises as another spell of absolute, uninterrupted silence, dead air, spectacular timidity, whatever, came rolling in off the lumpy horizons of who's busy now. Records show it wasn't until the very end of October and early November, 1996 that the list finally grew into its motivational wingz when somebody finally mentioned Debord, but it wasn't Curtis Leung who actually tracked down my phone number, and gave me a call which once we warmed up to each other we extended for a couple of hours after violently disagreeing online in a crossfire of notes...

Looks like my old friend Sam made November 5, his debut as one of the "first wavers" in crackling response to one of my own rather feeble repackaged jokes about two kinds of people. But December and January were also virtual lockdowns in nothingness withdrawal technique, with February 1997 accelerating to a trickle. As for Spud contributing, I think he made a couple of announcements but didn't really contribute to the list in any sort of definite way, although I could be wrong. The pantomime finally burst into the long-awaited noise in March, as the second and third waves rushed the beach head with footprints enough for a snapshot in three-quarters time. The rest as they say, is history because if you want a shot you've got to take it when it presents itself. Don't be a pecker.

Making a list, checking it twice,

Saint Nix

"I fought with my twin, that enemy within, 'til both of us fell by the side..."Bob Dylan

Sign Up To The 52 O Street Studios Newsletter

52-o-street
52 O Street Studios
samplex

Okay, all you DC area cats & wankers, beer and cheese afficionados, h yeah, and art lovers of every clique, please click over to the 52 O Street Studios homepage and sign-up for the newsletter. You will need an outside mail account, and you will also need to confirm your desire to receive the newsletter. The confirmation link will be sent to the email address you use to sign up. Don't worry. You won't be bombarded with SPAM.

THIS IS NOT A MYSPACE EVENT.

In fact, the newsletter was first set up over six months ago, and we have yet to send out a single issue, but when we twenty or so artists have building-wide newsworthy events to announce to our friends and patrons, such as our next 52 O Street Open Studios, you will definitely want to muscle off with an invitation.

Today, the historic building is occupied by painters, sculptors, photographers, jewelers, woodworkers, and video artists of various styles and impulses. So, do yourself a favor.

Sign up today!

Gabriel Thy
52 O Street Studios
Washington, DC

Back When Gas Was Fifty Cents A Gallon And I Was 22...

camaro
In Houston, TX, 1978
samplex

Thirty-one years ago, on this date, August 11, I financed my first brand fucking new car. This was about the time the Boss was racing in the dark, but long before, or so it seemed in those days, that the Dead Milkmen busted out their song which burns rubber to say it all about this slamming automobile. My 305 sported a virgin five point one miles on the odometer when I drove it off the lot. A drag city stripper, a beautiful consumer chick cage. A bitchin' Camaro. The Milkmen nailed that much.

This 1976 Chevrolet Camaro was the nothing less than the magic bullet for a non-gearhead like myself. For I would go on to put 96K miles on that metallic blue automobile in the thirty-six months I owned it, traveling back and forth to Texas several times, and winding among the backwaters of the five southeastern states of Georgia, South Carolina, Alabama, North Carolina, and Tennessee in which I worked as a surveyor for a prestigious civil engineering firm headquartered in Atlanta, flummoxing mayors, city managers, and county engineers with the well-packed trunk and backseat full of bush axes, machetes, hubs, stakes, chains, range poles, level rods, magic markers, flagging, tripod, transit, level, and a truckload of other tools of the trade, all ingeniously organized and functionally accessible when needed. I shall return to this topic. Right here, in this space.

There's so much to tell, not the least is generating an explanation for those fag shorts...

The Telephone Song (And Dance)

GuyKawasaki
Guy Kawasaki
samplex

Originally published on October 1, 1996

Still haven't processed my photo op with the Mac Guy Kawasaki...

Have you heard from Landry since the middle of last week? I haven't. And did I tell you what happened when I tried to research the current status of the home ISDN bill still before the Public Utilities Commission (every last one of those 1400 plus dollars) on what is supposed to be a $250 per month flat rate with zero message units? I'm thankful Peter's friend Bret Mingo configured the line and files the papers properly, and alerted me to this nasty little message unit scam that phone companies like to run on us small fry IT startups.

And now that I think of it, it's been a week since I requested a copy of the commercial specs and pricelist by phone. But anyhows, I got quite a bit of runaround at both the telephone company AND the PUC, finally getting a call back from someone in the Department of Energy a few days later(which dazed me for a few seconds until I finally figured out the relational matrix of ifs, ands & buts since he didn't know why he was calling either). Still nothing. He told me I should call the PUC. I told him that's who I thought I had been referred with digits by the telephone company to call. Alas, I rang his office instead. He admitted to being somewhat part of the process, but....

I think I need a telephone job. To know nothing is to fulfill the obligations of the job.

GT