Date: Mon Aug 24, 1998 12:38:44 AM America/New_York
Space, I forwarded your note to Steve. He must be on mail strike. What is this the fourth, almost fifth day since I asked him what his plans were. He has this really bizarre way of dealing with plans by ignoring them. He probably will not call you in Philly, but that would be cool for everybody I'd presume, but then I wouldn't be surprised if he did. Why he suddenly ceases our nearly daily correspondence when some positive planning is in the works, I no longer even want to burden myself to fathom. His record for consistency in this matter speaks for itself. I'm assuming he understands my stated plans and will work to accomplish his own constructs accordingly, but I've been wrong on both of these counts too many times to matter with Steve Taylor on an intelligent level . . .
Not by any stretch of the imagination is poor communication the prime suspect in this behavior. We both communicxate just fine. It's the message that's such a terror matrix. Steve simply likes to PLAY IT BY EAR, and that reminds me, I've got an infection which is driving me to the doctor very soon like as soon as I can find a doctor to take me in my left ear, the one in which I already muster a mere 30-40% normal hearing range, having suffered a constant tintinitus there since August of 1992 after a bout with a loud rock show [Zodiac Mindwarp, in a show where I remember thinking during the show that this was definitively the loudest band I'd ever heard and I've videotaped many a loud band during my 1980s punk rock era] and later flight back from London via Iceland, always having been one to suffer inner ear troubles after long flights. The itching, stopped up feeling and downright pain started early yesterday and has gotten increasingly worse. Although not exactly the same, it sort of reminds me of your agonizing ear bit a few months back.
This Pontiac is a definite thief magnet. I split Wednesday morning to have the Lo-Jack tracking system installed. I've dumped the Caller ID. May get an answering machine hooked back in or simply subscribe to voice mail as you suggested. Haven't really made a decision. Confirmed the return policy on the box so I'm grateful I'm not out the $65 spent there.
I'm just getting around to the C's tonight, so I haven't even seen the damage. Thanks for the update. ON a whim Sue and I bought a new car yesterday. It's a killer car no shit. A groovin' 1995 Pontiac Bonneville Super Sport Edition, 41K mileage. Forest green skin. Tan cockpit, unbelievable instrumentation and interior features. Gold trim and wheel package. Baby Sue loves the car to death. It had gotten to the embarrassing stage of her NOT having a decent car to drive to work, and somehow seemed an injustice since she envied one. We had no idea what we were looking for when we decided to go looking after hours of chat the past few weeks, months, but found this car, and fell hard for it. She deserved it. I've kept the old magical Dodge, 1989, 120K miles. Yikes! Can we pay for this automotive luxury? It WAS a stretch. I may really have to take an HTML design job out there in the war zones, leaving my post here at the Grillyard unguarded, but a lot of money has been spent and a lot more is needed, and so, uh Rusty, I may be following up on those contacts you passed me just before this unspeakably nasty rectal surgery took me out...
I do admit to a certain well-informed paranoia. This Pontiac is a definite thief magnet. I split Wednesday morning to have the Lo-Jack tracking system installed. I've dumped the Caller ID. May get an answering machine hooked back in or simply subscribe to voice mail as you suggested. Haven't really made a decision. Confirmed the return policy on the box so I'm grateful I'm not out the $65 spent there.
About the time I think I'm getting down to some real work around here, some technical fuckup or creeping malaise works itself into a knot, and I'm suddenly sandbagged again. I did get a lot of photoscanning done last week, and felt nifty about that. Also have been reading a short Antonin Artaud biography to relax in between production shifts.
UnixusNET is in shambles. The 8500 web server and its 2 partitioned drives must be reformatted, as does my 8600 and its unpartitioned 9GB sidecar, the 750MD, drive, and Sue's G-3. I had hoped to get this project done this weekend. NOT. I've got troubles I need to fix. My minimum files sizes are 272 K on one drive, and I am no longer able to filke share on certain machine since Sue installed another program designed to allow me to remotely control the server. That experiment was a failure, and I've lost my ability to share these drives. We tried everything short of what we must try now, and since I've been wanting to upgrade my file storage protocols anyway, the time is now since I apparently need clean installs to clear up this drive sharing problem. When the focus date is certain I'll let you know Rusty how things stand. Perhaps with enough prior sleep I can tend to the web & mail server in a wee hour...so as not to disturb your mail service. And I'll have to get back to you on the directory level issue. You are presenting me problems that I haven't had time to solve or even study. Perhaps it's a WebStar issue, but I've given you mindfire. Any other folders at that level just clog up my webStar directory with YOUR projects, and until...My point is, we're back to the aliasing aspect we talked about earlier in this exchange of whatevers discussion. Until I learn how to easily alias the folders in your mindfire directory to resolve the shorter URLs, I'm afraid you're going to have to work from within the mindfire directory I've already set up.
This Saturday morning scouting trip down a stretch of the Anacostia River was a ripping success, a real eyeopener, but more on that later. About the time I think I'm getting down to some real work around here, some technical fuckup or creeping malaise works itself into a knot, and I'm suddenly sandbagged again. I did get a lot of photoscanning done last week, and felt nifty about that. Also have been reading a short Antonin Artaud biography to relax in between production shifts. What a wingnut he was.
The Weight Loss Update: Now 20 pounds lighter than pre-surgery weigh-in of 293...
Apologies for the group letter format. Hopefully there's at least something new of interest to each of you on this list even though certain passages may not make appeal to everyone. It's been wild & hairy here at the DH slot of late, and my ear troubles are keeping me fuzzy. The Nothingness crew will get something from me tomorrow I hope. Just sign me the tone deaf ex-poet playing it by ear, or simply holding out for something better...
Date: Fri Aug 21, 1998 8:57:58 PM America/New_York
Spacecan't possibly think of anything you could bring, but C Level enthusiasm. I have pretty much have everything I need in spades...uh, except help on all these damned projects I've got going, but enough of that. Steve is pulling his usual silent treatment. Two days of dead air once I mailed him your confirmation afterhe was posting daily inquiries about the game tickets and your plans. As soon as the whole world is confirmed, he goes off into his world of silence until the very last minute when he's ready to move. He does this EVERY SINGLE TIME we try to make plans. Without fail. It's uncanny. Once upon a time it was interesting to observe his operations, but now it's simply a nuisance of his friendship (remember that note you wrote three or four years ago lamenting the English language void of words describing the different tiers of acquaintences one has where using the word friend seems an abuse of clarity? I do, and have pondered the essence of your brilliant query many times before and since, acknowledging the truth of it.)
Steve is an enigma to himself, not because he is inexplicably mysterious or undeserving of the best of anything he or anybody else has to offer, but merely because he cannot seem to pull himself together to commit to anything or anyone for more than a wisp of time. Any commitment is a death trap for him. He's gotten a bit better on the personal level, but his disappearing routine will pop up occasionally when he's out on the town, and is always present when it comes to nailing down plans. I'm only slightly exaggerating when I say it wouldn't surprise me in the least that we discover sometime in the eighth inning at the Yards that Steve had left his seat during the seventh inning stretch and shot for home. He does THAT kind of shit almost by rote, although I remarked to him a few months ago that he seemed to have chilled on that behavior somewhat.
The most casual get together is always marred by this refusal to commit to anything save an active extension of his desire to do nothing but play, to remain rudderless, engineless, mendaciously debonair on his own callous terms. God, he drives me crazy. But, he is my friend, even best friend by virtue of our close proximities these past three years...
Not that his commitment for next week is that critical in this situation EXCEPT that he be gone somewhere else by Sunday afternoon. But I did want the three of us to get comfy with each other, but he may have other plans. Dunno. He has said two or three times now that he's hip to the game, but Steve always like to change the rules, so I'm just gonna let this thing unfold as he likes it. I've told him that he should come early, say Thursday, if he needs a longer visit, but that I wanted him gone after Sunday brunch so that Sue and I could gear down properly for the following week.
Like I told you on the phone, he's heard and read this speech dozens, yes, dozens of times from me, but he always presses for an extra day, or whatever, in that cavalier manner of his, and I quietly acquiesce, but not so this coming visit. His ongoing insanity at my expense must come to an end. The most casual get together is always marred by this refusal to commit to anything save an active extension of his desire to do nothing but play, to remain rudderless, engineless, mendaciously debonair on his own callous terms. God, he drives me crazy. But, he is my friend, even best friend by virtue of our close proximities these past three years...
I do hope you get to meet him. Although it is rare for Steve to simply blow off a semi-solid plan completely, it would not surprise me if something suddenly came up to shut down his DC visit. He's a jealous god and may not want to compete for air time with someone else he might or might not awe. God, he drives me crazy.
Sorry about all this interpersonal stuff about somebody you only know as the manager of the Rhubarbs, a true baseball rookie (having NEVER played or followed the game until this year), a rookie, that is, who bounced our Walter Johnson cognizant asses right out of the ballpark. He's a genuinely good fellow, but his self-image has taken a few hits lately, and that's not settling well with him as he gets older and performs less, and yet still sees himself as the next great CEO of whatever will satisfy his Paul Bunyan ego somewhere down the line. Man, he drives me crazy. Man alive. Do I ever look forward to your visit!
"Ignorance and virtue suck on the same straw. Souls grow on bones, but die beneath bankers' hours.""