Date: Thu Mar 14, 1996 10:41:50 AM America/New_York
Well Space, it seems this question has been answered for me by Prodigy in some new sleeker look. I checked in today, and was twice greeted with a screen informing me that BBM, and also the World Wide Web were not available on Prodigy for Mac and DOS users, that's you & me, right? Windows 1.1 (or above I presume) is their targeted customer base. Also read news that they will soon be offering 28800 bps service, finally, two to several years after most. I'm not up to this new scramble. Too busy in Mac domain, and can't afford another language right now.
Haven't seen you inbox my box lately, but since I was able to access Prodigy from your A account & password (flaw I guess in memory when I tried to use the C), I figger you're still whizzing around. Me too. Not enough time in the day, OR night, although I've been keeping a whimsical and strange rotation of hours, so irregular they've even begun to affect Sue's long established snooze & rise routine. She's getting up nearly everyday one to two hours earlier than she ever has in twelve years, or her life I think is a more accurate description. But getting tired earlier, not much has changed in her afterwork mode which I suppose you're looking forward to your own come spring in your new car. We just discovered a potential problem with our Dodge van which by the way tumbled past 100,000 some 280 miles ago. Last night I went out for a KFC fix, our first in ages. The oil light kept flashing on and holding in deceleration and idling stops while flickering off during acceleration and steady speed routines. Sue said the light never came on this morning when she drove to work. Uhm... she declared a rather easy drive home last night, so here we are now having to deal with some mechanical mystery.
I'm already plotting to go to the Maryland or Delaware sea this year, something I rarely want to do but am writing it into my script as perhaps this year something I can call a therapeutic adventure. As a child growing up along coastal Georgia I was raised on the ocean's secrets, and never cared that much for it other than as some passing stew until I could get back home to my own. Pencil in this recurring dream I have of tidal waves I am in, or trying to escape from with a crowd of friends and family, and you know the beach is just not the beach in my mind. Different moths are drawn to different flames. I'm just an idiot who likes to scribble and draw pictureslove as life the expressions of mathematics and imaginative gestalt. Truth and Projection. Radically uneducated, but having sponged off passionate and well-promoted thousands of terrabytes the world offers as proof of its own existence I feel qualified to speak for myself despite my madness in choosing to describe tragedy unfurled.
Yeah, that adopting thing. I am gut emphatic and serious as grits but Sue is miles away, claiming insurmountable financial distress, and I suspect a declining energy level, mine as well, although I am six years younger than she, but obviously I can't do it without her. Nothing I say can really move or disprove her off her current charms and so I'm not going to chafe over this one. I gave up the idea to the heap of things never mine to shine some 22 years ago when I first was stunned with the realization of my sterility, and tentatively again when Sue and I first began peeling layers off our well wrapped personhoods some 12 years ago until we have become family, a more closely defined family than we can admit exists anywhere else in the universe. All else is slightly foreign, dangerous, and loads of work better spent propping what what we already have. We fool ourselves and occasionally try to stretch further away from the flame which warms and integrates us, but disaster is soon nearby snickering as always, and a faith away from where we're at we tell ourselves. Committing to an infant, or even a toddler, even after two years of struggle, still remains dear to me, however far away it seems right now.