Posts Tagged ‘web designer’

For The Love Of Secret Decoder Rings

02 Feb


Fishy scenario. And don't you love it when these folks reword and thus reward your own complaint by tossing it back atcha in a ridiculous restating of the obvious! Sue has a certain genius for this sort of troubleshooting herself, but I have no urgency to rag on her this early in the morning, so off we go to your problem. I certainly don't have a clue what's besludging the Fastmail system short of that pesky Y2K bug, speaking of which I can relate a recent problem of my own. My web log stats program which fraternizes with WebStar and which I provide free of charge via a web interface with user ID and password to 'XusNet clients caught that blasted bug. A fix was issued after my sister (a client) discovered a problem. The beta upgrade fix was acknowledged front and center on the vendor's website sometime in the middle of January, a quick download and installation, and the problem was solved. What dismayed me was that I didn't get an email from them alerting me to the bug, or its fix.

Secondly, and closer to your own email problems is that sometime last month my own 'XusNET mail server fell victim to a mail attack where some unscrupulous cell phone mass marketer was hitting me with thousands of mail relays every minute of the day. Of course I caught it when my daily logs piled in exponentially against the normal rate of one per 24 hour shift. As I was frantically hurrying about trying to solve the problem, soaking up the manual wisdom, toggling and what have you, I also got a mail warning from a website dedicated to such SPAMMING PRACTICES telling me I had been placed on a blacklist which identified sites which allowed such despicable email relay practices, and could result in other sites refusing to handle ANY mail requests from 'XusNET servers. Where's my secret decoder ring?

Fortunately I had read about this very site a couple of months ago, and with that heads up in mind, wasn't totally panicked by the news, but grateful to be part of a great checks and balances loop. I solved the problem partially, but then in a mail relay to a client (again, my sister) another problem in my config showed itself. She was being allowed to relay mail. I think I have fixed it, but she has been slow in responding to me after I suggested a particular test at her end of things.

Oh well. . .

Oooh la la! One might be forgiven, Steve, in thinking Fast.NET would be ahead of the curve on this one.


Insults, Snapshots, Etymology Of Current Scenewash Architecture

16 Oct


Lily Artwatcher


Originally published on October 16, 1997

The following letter was composed in response to a query from an old friend Steve Taylor, then in Philadelphia.

"Glad to see you are starting to populate the Scenewash. Is that name from one of your print works or did you create it for the online medium? You know I'm always a sucker for an etymological tale..."

No, sir. That gem was the product of a fresh brainstorm ripping across this fertile valley now my home while I was working on a Lily Artwatcher subsection dealing with local ontological events, hyperpersonalized and literally screaming fotographic intrigue a few months before I cleavaged iMote to separate the so-called storefront from the creative victories I feel as a writer and a conduit for whatever comes next. I'd created a banner page, and not much else. As I recall a snapshot of Sue is highlighted in a collage with moderate success. However I liked the multiple entendres of the Scenewash project so much (epistemologically, general and local cleansing of the scene) that it grew whiskers, a gut of grand proportions and into the ripening domain you are only beginning to fathom.

It will also remain a subsection, as originally intended, within the SWORG/LILY section, but you'll just have to wait until it's fleshed online sometime next year undoubtedly to know any more about that than I do right now. It's presently only a gleam in the sacrificial iMotedotcom and a few building blocks of infrastructure waiting attention. Since I have Cafespirit, and a bevy of other themes mapped out in LILY, I quite have forgotten what I intended with the original Scenewash quarter.

The industrious ones are border rats in a life and death frenzy to land a job. The lazy are generally stupid and vacant of morals and always eager to capitulate to the swirl and swill to maintain that laziness. In this way they match the filthy rich jet setters the revolutionaries supposedly want to overthrow. Power to the Bourgeoise!
Yesterday was somewhat of a creative breakthrough. You will like what you see. The work is still offline as I need to clean up some peripheral files before uploading, but I hope to have a lot more mapped in for your personal viewing by the end of this weekend. My computer is currently tied up with a 10MB download of a new site creation beta from Macromedia called Dreamweaver.

At my modem speed projected download time is over an hour and a half. I've crashed in the past trying to download and send mail at the same time, so this note will have to wait until the software is on disk, but man, a while back I downloaded MIE v3.1 in an uninterupted streaming session only for it to be corrupted from the very first click. Lost all that time. These huge downloads are not fun, or apparently very reliable.

Well, it took almost to the minute two hours to download. It expanded cleanly, but I'll wait until later to install and nose around. Of course I'll let you know what I think about it. How is Net Objects Fusion treating you? Or haven't you been studying it, like a good webmaster should in the best of worlds . . .

Bracken says, "Power to the Lazy Worker!" Can you believe he really thinks the world will improve if we all became lazy on the job? Next time he goes under the knife of a surgeon (knee work last year), he should slip the nurse one of his pamphlets, and have the medical staff, "go lazy on him." Then he should move to Mexico.

I understand siesta lazy is a way of life for millions down there (just another white man myth not worth its heat I suppose). The industrious ones are border rats in a life and death frenzy to land a job. The lazy are generally stupid and vacant of morals and always eager to capitulate to the swirl and swill to maintain that laziness. In this way they match the filthy rich jet setters the revolutionaries supposedly want to overthrow. Power to the Bourgeoise!

Odd & Ends Of The Hard Gee

10 Oct


Originally published on October 10, 1997

Just in case you wanted to join in this offshoot from Engst's Tidbits, and one should perhaps also drop this to Berman, ha ha ho ho! And did I tell you? Garfinkel snuffed the IAG account, poof gone. I deleted the web server files earlier this week. His letter graciously thanked me for my efforts, but admitted that the site was a failure. Not that he gave it much a shot. Just another dreamer that a tiny fledgling website would instantly suck in a flood of specific visitors. Of course he ended with the obligatory carrot of future work, yuckety yuck...

From the—It's "Jiff" and I Don't Want to Hear Another Word—department, I find that while logic may dictate the "g" in GIF (Graphic Interchange Format) is pronounced hard, like gift or gefilte fish, that hasn't stopped dozens and dozens of readers from offering opinions, many of them hilarious.

However, several people wrote to say that they either worked with folks at CompuServe or read the original GIF specification, all of which specified a soft "g". None of us at NetBITS understand why we haven't seen the definitive word before, so here it is. Charlie Reading writes:

"I worked with the creator of GIF (Steve Wilhite) when I was still employed by CompuServe. Steve always pronounced it "jiff" and would correct those who pronounced it with a hard G. "Choosy developers choose GIF" (spinning off of a historically popular peanut butter commercial)."

Well I, for one, will stand by the hard "G" as in gipper. I prefer the all natural crunchy peanut butter, anyway. And I'm not about to be given pronunciation lessons from a Compuservant. Interesting bit of history, nonetheless. Over the years I've noticed that almost all graphic arts types pronounce it hard, while a certain percentage of computer types go soft...


"Ignorance and virtue suck on the same straw. Souls grow on bones, but die beneath bankers' hours.""